Oh I am so banhammered on all the corporate WebNannyShieldManagerProFascistAntiGayCocksucking firewalls for that subject line, but I don’t give a fuck. I’m in a great mood cos not only has the proper video for Cee Lo’s TRACK OF THE YEAR dropped – and no he’s not paying me a dime, cos he’s more like Atari, and doesn’t have a Ferrari – but he does have a kickass video:

…also Ride On Zeitgeist Kleptones has done a quickie mash of said track with Flaming Lips ‘Do You Realise’. I think this is confirmation, along with the 4 million (!) hits in a week and a half this track is gonna be huge, and the corporate web censorin’ radio-friendly blanddogs are gonna be busy…not since Man Don’t Give a Fuck and Fuck the Pain Away has the bleepmachine probably gone into hystrionic meltdown, I bet…cos if it’s so evil why does it sound so GOOD? And why do you cheer Mr Green at the end of the video vs the bitch from hell when she gets her comuppance, reverse Cinders style.

Caused by coming across this scarily accurate list, for those who thought Swamp Thing, Rednex and Doop were bad we have equally bad delights to share (although I disagree on their additions of Rushin the House, Trip to Trumpton and SmartE’s although yes Roobarb and Custard was always bad and lazy even then)

Above is Slipstreem’s terrible version of Rod Stewart’s Sailing cannily renamed We are Raving, which not only should be scuttled and keelhauled; it was directed by Jarvis Cocker. I bet he sent a few scurvy dogs over the plank for that one…

Next is Scooter whose whole output should be on this list (apart from that quite-good Billy Idol cover of Eyes Without A Face, well I liked it) but taking a Shut Up and Dance classic, singing it badly then adding faux-acid and Scotland the Brave? No I’m not raving I’m sitting this one out.

I’m ashamed I used to like Oceanic but really, yes this is shite, and completely out of tune, on the upside if Florence leaves her Machine or La Roux needs another day job, safe to say here’s another singing job they could fill in on:

Fuck the macarena. Well fuck this fuck the macarena, it’s horrible too, probably worse than the Macarena actually.

I’d add these to this list:

The terrible DJ Miko What’s Up cover on the list cannot actually beat A.D.A.M. ft Amy’s scary version of Zombie. Yes the Cranberries one – which was an annoying track to start with – I know lets add happy hardcore to it, that’ll improve it! Err, maybe not. I blame Almighty for crap like this, even though I don’t think it’s one of theirs, the banal female diva cover plus happy handbag backing is totally their invention. And bane of the gay scene, I remember sitting in the Kings Arms when this first came on. I then despaired for the taste of my fellow gays.

Hmm I used to think a techno version of the Das Boot theme was a good idea. I was younger then.

Smash Hits lyrics: Poing, Poing, Poing, Poing, Poing, Poing, Poing, Poing, Poing, MAKE IT STOP!

I used to play this at the end of my Parkade sets as the ultimate in Edelweiss style Scooter good/badness. It’s so bad it transcends into goodness as it has passed the worst barrier into a new realm, Star Trekkin’ style.

And I refuse to even link to Crazy Frog – Axel F. Ugh.

So what are YOUR worst novelty dance records? It does seem rave, happy hardcore, trance and house spawned quite a few monsters…

I wrote about DM50 a while back with Buraka Son Sistema’s great cover of Buffalo Stance, but although I get the emails I wasn’t so into the next few releases and had tuned it out…but Dunproofin posted the latest one to Facebook and I was entranced…the surreal and charming video (not involving the band) totally makes it – and harks back to a time where people made videos that didn’t have to make sense, nor had some brand manager insist they focus on the band to up their profile or sell more records…as Factory records proved the abstract and less commercial approach is far better – although ironically it takes what essentially is an extended ad for Doc Martens boots to have the freedom to do that.

Strange times indeed – sometimes I think the fashion industry – once the more conservative, now understands and supports radical and experimental statements now much more than their former homes of music and fine art – certainly within studio photography this is very true.

Anyway a band that’s been on my ‘must check out’ list for ages – I loved Dead Sound from Lust Lust Lust and Here Comes Mary according to Mr iTunes – cover I Wanna Be Adored in lovely floaty style, reminding me of XX and how the Raveonettes must be an influence of theirs. Still, I prefer the in-progress ‘in the studio version’ (below) without any drums or percussion, just feedback and vocals. Sometimes less is more…they should release that version too.

Oh and as before you can download the MP3s free from here. (requires registration)

You know those full body scanners in airports that peek under your clothes? Well they now are in the street too, perving at you and your car/van/truck and indeed passing school bus for those security personnel of a Pedobear persuasion…and the AS&E’s Z Backscatter Van™ (ZBV) are seemingly sold to anyone, not just government, who in the US and foreign government agencies have bought 500 already.

Really next time I go to the airport – and it’s gonna be a big if, or where I choose to fly from, I’m requesting a pat down, and won’t go through one of those machines…and you know Little Brother/TV detector/X-Files style not to trust those big white vans passing by the neighbourhood unmarked with people with laptops at the front…Me paranoid? Well when it comes to any force wanting to see me naked because ‘you iz a terrist’, I get very paranoid. And very worried for the state of the world today…not that I think I will appear in some gay porn full body scan site, no fear of that!

Really although there is a few journeys I want to make that will include flying, over the last year or two I’ve flown far less than I used to (Ethiopia/South Africa in November was the last time, and you can’t get there overland and it takes a month by sea!) this is intentional as every time the security protocols get more and more draconian and puts me off flying entirely. I don’t think I am alone in this – which is strange the airports and carrier companies are putting up with it in this recession. The short hops we and I used to do over to the continent aren’t worth all this hassle and stress. I wish Eurostar wasn’t so hella expensive, otherwise I’d take that route. Far more preferable, although they are starting to go the scanner route too.

Via Jez CMP.

LeeDM101 asked for someone to make a video for his excellent mashup and I jumped at the chance of editing Kraftwerk’s ‘Radioactivity’, Duran Duran’s ‘Girls on Film’, Mike Oldfield’s ‘Tubular Bells’ and Calvin Harris ‘Girls’ together with Attack of the 50ft Woman and Public Service Announcements from the atomic age of the 1950′s. So this video is spanning the 50′s, 70′s, 80′s & 00′s, and prog, techno, house & pop, from the atomic age to the iPod age!

Worth it just to see Kraftwerk dancing along with Duran Duran and Mike Oldfield at least!

Thanks Lee – also on YouTube (strangely the PSA public domain content has been ID’d – it’s from a documentary from Atomic Cafe even though most or all of the footage for that is from the public domain – if get DMCA grief I’ll question it as I dunno how they can content ID and ‘own’ films formed from publicly owned archive.org/Prelinger/LOC footage?)